Hi!!!!!!! haahahaha Nancy !!!🙋♀️
It's me, Rachel🙈
I was surprised to see your part 2 because very few people wrote George Wilson🙎🏽♂️
You talk about the American dream 💫💫💫from George Wilson.
You chose a novel and distinctive perspective⭐️, which reflected different problems from others.💥
A) GOOD JOB🌝
1. You describe George Wilson's character and characteristics in detail in the introduction.
The context reflects how George Wilson's current situation is created.
2. I'm surprised by your definition of the American dream, because it's totally unexpected to me.
“From my perspective, the American dream is an instigator for creating depression inside people's mind”
The American dream incites people to sink deeper and deeper, and only a small number of people can succeed. Most people are troubled, suffering and depressed.
B）PARTS THAT WEREN'T SUCCESSFUL🌚
1. In my opinion, you need to use quote more in your articles. It can prove your words and let readers see the changes of characters more directly.
2. In your media, you need to write specific examples to let people know what caused their American dream to be broken.
C）PARTS TO IMPROVE🌞
You can connect each part better and make the content more complete and fluent.
The most important thing is to pay attention to where you use Emoji (hahahaha)
Because there are many sentences I read several times to understand what you want to express.
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